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Wednesday, April 14, 2021

Review: "Everybody Fights" by Kim and Penn Holderness


If you've been on social media in the last few years, you've probably seen at least one video by Kim & Penn Holderness. Their clever parody videos have me constantly laughing. Now, they've written a book about marriage...which might seem like a funny choice for single me to read and review! But stick with me ...


My wife drives me crazy sometimes. My husband should already know what I need. Is our marriage in trouble if we fight all the time? Is it possible to learn how to fight?

For the last several years, Penn and Kim Holderness have done the hard maintenance and the research. With the help of their marriage coach Dr. Christopher Edmonston, they break down their biggest (and in some cases, funniest) fights. How did a question about chicken wings turn into a bra fight (no, not a bar fight; a bra fight)? How did a roll of toilet paper lead to tears, resentment, and a stint in the guest bedroom?

With their trademark sense of humor and complete vulnerability, Penn and Kim share their ten most common Fight Fails and how to combat them. Throughout the book, they offer scripts for how to start, continue, and wrap up hard conversations. Couples will emerge equipped to engage and understand, not do battle—and maybe laugh a little more along the way.

In Everybody Fights, couples will learn how to

· conjure the magic of metacommunication

· break free of secret contracts

· banish the three Ds—distraction, denial, and delay

· carry their own individual baggage while helping each other deal with theirs

Penn and Kim want people to know they’re not alone. Marriage is messy. Marriage is work. But marriage is worth it. Fight for it.


Though Everybody Fights is a marriage book, most of the principles could be applied to any relationship. (Just skip the sex chapters if they don't apply...)

The book is full of practical tips for recognizing conflict, keeping lines of communication open, and fighting well. It's not earth shattering information, but it is laid out in a way that's easy to read and digest. And I really enjoyed the sections from Penn's and Kim's respective perspectives regarding their conflicts. Overall, it's an easy, enjoyable read. 4 stars.

Buy the book: Thomas Nelson | Amazon | Barnes & Noble

Follow the tour.


Kim Holderness was born and raised in Sarasota, Florida, and was a competitive dancer (once crowned Miss Dance Florida). She went to the University of Florida, then began her career in TV journalism. Penn Holderness was born in Durham, North Carolina, to a Presbyterian minister and a public school teacher. He was super into Boy Scouts, show choir, and synthesizers as a kid, so he wasn’t exactly a ladies’ man. He went to the University of Virginia, then started a two-decade career in TV journalism. Penn and Kim met in Orlando while working in local news and were married in 2005. In 2013 they left the TV business and launched a digital content company called Greenroom Communications. Part of that launch was a video called “Xmas Jammies” that went viral, and led to appearances on GMA, the Today Show, Fox News Channel, and CNN. (Apparently Xmas Jammies are 
bipartisan.) The Holderness Family currently lives in Raleigh with their dog, Sunny.

Connect with Kim & Penn: Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through TLC Book Tours. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."


1 comment:

  1. I really enjoyed this one! Thank you for being on this tour. Sara @ TLC Book Tours

    ReplyDelete