Why do I love Dancing With The Stars? Let me count the ways. C list (or D list or who on earth are you list) "stars". Camp. Tom Bergeron's expressions as Samantha Harris botches yet another line. Camp. The inevitable return of previous competitors. (By this, the first results show, we've seen Helio Castroneves, Sabrina Bryan, and Cameron Matheson. And maybe others that I've missed.) Camp. Oh, and I like the dancing, too.
So tonight, we have the first ever double elimination in the history of DWTS. Tom (or was it Samantha?) promises that we'll kick it off with an elimination. Wait, did I mishear him? It's 8:25, and so far, we know that Steve Guttenberg is safe. (Whew! I intended to use my abc.com votes for him, but abc's servers were having issues last night and I gave up.) Now Samantha is forcing the other men, who don't yet know their fates, to say why they like Steve. Huh? Adam instead talks about the Jonas Brother with bigger eyebrows than his. Samantha says that Steve has created the catch-phrase for the season: "Wow!"
8:32. Penn & Kym are out. Do the producers have something against Kym? Sure, she went to the finals with Joey Fatone, but other than that, she's had Jerry Springer, Mark Cuban, and now Penn Jillette.
8:35. Cameron Matheson's back! And he's wearing his Superman costume! This is definitely more entertaining than those Kenny Mayne segments.
8:46. It's The Jonas Brothers, take two. Somehow, I'd avoided hearing them until tonight. Maybe because I'm not a 13-year-old girl. I wasn't missing much. Shannon & Derek are safe. Does this thing only go until 9?
8:49. Jimmy Kimmel's new tonight! He's always fun during DWTS. He and Guillermo were in the audience last night, so I have high hopes for tonight's show.
8:51. Marlee & Fabian and Kristi & Mark are safe. I guess they really will finish it up by 9.
8:56. Time to get down to it. Please let Marissa move on!
8:57. Priscilla & Louis are safe. I really can't stand Louis. He seems so cocky.
8:58. I really hope it's Monica & Jonathan.
9:00. Finally! Monica & Jonathan are out.
At this point, Kristi and Steve are my favorites. Kristi because I've loved her since the '92 Olympics, when my love affair with figure skating began. Steve because he's having so much fun . . . and because I loved the Three Men and a Baby movies.
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