Thursday, August 1, 2013

it wasn't supposed to be like this

When I was a kid, I learned my parents were 24 when they got married. That sounded positively ancient. Surely I'd get married much sooner than that!

I am currently mere days away from my 32nd birthday. And I'm still single.

I had always imagined that by this point in my life, I'd have a husband, two or three kids, and be a stay-at-home mom. For whatever reason, God has put me on a different path. Most of the time, I'm okay with this—I'm actually glad I didn't marry young, as I've done a lot of growing up in the 14 years since I graduated from high school. I enjoy the freedom I have as a single woman; I don't really have to consider anyone else when deciding on purchases, entertainment, meals, or travel. I can do whatever I want on the weekend. I only have to worry about getting myself ready in the morning, so I can sleep until the last possible second.

Overall, my life is good.

Tomorrow, I'll sign the documents to officially purchase my first house. I've heard that moving is one of the five most stressful things in life, and I've never before believed it, but I sure do now! There is so much more stress involved with finding and purchasing a house than there is with renting. And don't even get me started on the loan approval process! (It's enough to give someone a heart condition. No kidding.)

And I wish I had someone to walk by my side, helping me make decisions and sharing the stress.

My parents have been fantastic, checking out houses and going furniture shopping with me, giving advice when I ask for it, and helping me pack. My loan officer has been incredibly patient, reassuring me when the approval process took longer than I thought it should and answering all of my "I have no idea what I'm doing!" questions. My friends have been behind me, cheering me on and praying for wisdom and sanity. My sister Steph has been a great sounding board, always bringing me back to reality. (Also, she mowed my lawn for me tonight so I wouldn't have to take a break from packing to do it. She's pretty awesome.)

But, as wonderful as these people are, they aren't "in it" with me. 

So I want to take a moment to acknowledge something that I usually don't: singleness is hard. It's not my ideal life, but it is my current life. And while journeying through life without a partner is difficult, I shouldn't use it as an excuse for letting my life stagnate.

That's why I took an accounting class this summer (and learned I most certainly should not become an accountant).

That's why I joined a book club through my church, even though meeting new people is difficult for me.

And that's why I'm buying a house.


  1. Proud of you, for being real and honest AND for buying a house!!! That's huge! Oh and remember....even though I'm married now, I COMPLETELY get it and I didn't have all of the family support you have. As you know, I was 37.5 when I got married. I so get it! Hang in there! God is Faithful! :)

    1. Thanks! I really appreciate how you didn't suddenly "forget" what it was like to be single when you got married ... so even though you're married now, I feel like you still understand :-) And I'm very grateful for my family—I can't imagine how difficult it would be to walk through this without their support.

  2. I'm so proud of you, Becky! You are way braver & stronger than me. I think it's awesome and admirable that you are doing so many great things with your life and not using being single as an excuse.

    And you are so right. There is a lot of freedom in singleness. It's something Josh & I were just discussing tonight. Being married is hard.

    I pray for you often. Catherine still asks for you. Love you, Roomie!

    1. Your comment made me a little misty! Thanks for the encouragement!

  3. You're awesome, Becky. I think it's so wonderful that you are buying a house. Just the beginning, perhaps, of other ways God may have for you to go out and live without stagnating. I think it's a beautiful way of preparing yourself for that one, when God sends him your way. As another lady who married late, waiting, I can tell ya the waiting will be worth it all. Nothing is wasted in God's kingdom. More power to you, Lady.


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