six questions

This blog has been all about the book reviews all month long. Between reading, reviewing, working, and, well, watching Fall TV, I haven't had time for much else! But I do have other things to talk about, so I thought I'd do a question and answer post. I've thought of six questions that you might ask me if we met for coffee, and I'll answer them here. (Why six? Because six has been my favorite number ever since, as a six-year-old, I heard Bert sing about his favorite number.) So grab a cup of coffee—I've got my fall favorite pumpkin spice latte—and enjoy this glimpse into my world.

Are you still gluten free?
Yes! It really hasn't been too difficult, and the worst part by far is eating out. I've discovered that I absolutely love almond and coconut flour (too bad they're pretty expensive), and I've had fun experimenting with gluten free baked goods. (Some have turned out awesome, others not so much.) My favorite is a peanut butter cookie recipe that I've adapted into a really awesome cookie, if I do say so myself. I'll try to snap pics the next time I make them and then post the recipe here on the blog.

How are you feeling?
This is kind of ironic, as I'm writing this on a day that I'm having what I like to call a "thyroid day," but I actually feel tons better. I don't feel "normal" yet, but I feel the best I've felt in two years. Two years! I think it's a combination of going gluten free, changing medication, making sleep a priority, and reducing stress. I still have hopes of getting my energy back, losing weight, and being able to fully participate in things I love, but if this is all the better it gets, it's livable, and I will be grateful for the health I have.

The other day, while on a two-mile walk (something that would have killed me just six months ago but I did with ease now), my mom asked me what my dreams are. I couldn't even answer her. These last two years have been all about surviving, not dreaming. But now it's time to start thinking about goals other than "make it through the work day so I can crash on my couch."

What classes are you teaching this year?
As I have for the last couple of years, only yearbook. While I do miss getting to know the international students on as personal a level (which I talked about here and here), I also am enjoying my job as a whole more than I have probably ever. I still do a little bit of a lot of things, but my main area is communications: website, blog, Facebook, Twitter, our quarterly newsletter, etc.

Are you doing Singing Christmas Tree?
Considering Singing Christmas Tree has been such a huge part of my life and was even a large factor in my decision to attend my church, this may come as a surprise, but no. It's not that I don't want to participate, but I'm trying to make decisions that will help, not hinder, my healing process. One of the things I'm learning is that stress and tiredness are huge triggers for me. If I have a big, busy day, I can pretty much guarantee that either the next day or the day after that I will not feel well. Singing Christmas Tree is a wonderful ministry, but it is also incredibly time consuming and exhausting, and speech season (my most stressful time of the year) directly follows it. I want to go into speech as healthy and rested as possible. I hope to rejoin the choir next year.

What has God been teaching you?
First of all, I'm finally learning to say no to things. When I was struggling with whether or not to do Singing Christmas Tree, I mentioned to a co-worker what I was thinking. Her response? "You are way harder on yourself than anyone else will be. If you need to take a break, you take a break. They'll survive without you." So true. While I feel a little guilty about taking this year off, I shouldn't.

I'm also learning compassion. Because Hashimoto's is a disease that often isn't physically apparent, most people who see me would have no idea that anything was wrong with me. The knowledge that others have no idea how I feel has helped me understand that, likewise, I have no idea what others are going through. I need to extend grace to others instead of being so judgemental. I don't know what circumstances in their lives are influencing the way they behave and the decisions they make.

Most importantly, though, I'm learning that God has everything under control. It's one of those things that I always know in my head, but sometimes my heart forgets. And then God steps in, and it's like he's nudging me and saying, "See? I've got this." This was especially evident a few weeks ago. Back at the beginning of August, I finally got a referral to an endocrinologist, but I couldn't get in to see her until mid-November. This is the same endo my dad sees for his diabetes, so he called to see if we could switch appointments, as he had one in early September. They said no, since initial appointments take longer than return visits, but they could put me on a waiting list in case of cancellations. The morning of my dad's appointment, I got a call from the clinic—they had a cancellation, and the slot was mine if I wanted it. So I was able to carpool with my dad and see the doctor a full two and a half months early! If that's not a God thing, I don't know what is!

Now a fun one: Do you have any good movie or TV recommendations?
Of course I do! Movie first: Belle. It's about a mixed race daughter of an British Navy captain who is raised by her great aunt and uncle on an English estate in the late 1700s. I don't really want to say much more than that because you need to watch it. It would make a great companion piece to Amazing Grace—both deal with slavery in different ways.

TV: Forever. It stars Ioan Gruffudd as a man who can't die. Well, he actually CAN die, he just can't STAY dead. He's a medical examiner in New York City who has a skill for discerning how people died, and he often works with a female detective. Sound a bit like Castle? It definitely has that feel to it. So far, I'm loving it! You can watch the pilot episode here.

And while we're on the subject of TV, if you're looking for a good binge watching show, check out Ringer on Netflix. It also stars Gruffudd (and Sarah Michelle Gellar)—I recently recommended it to another blogger after she wrote about Forever, and then I had this urge to watch it again. I'm one of about five people who actually watched it when it aired on the CW, and I'm enjoying it just as much on this pass through as I did on the first. (Yes, it's ridiculously soapy with about a million plot holes, but it's so entertaining!) There's only one season, so you won't even have to spend much time watching. Plus, Logan Echolls is a guest star ...

going gluten free: two week update

I've now been gluten free for two weeks. It hasn't actually been all that difficult. No dreams of bread, and my sister's amazing chocolate chip cookies didn't even appeal to me. (Read my introduction to my gluten-free diet here.)

My biggest challenge is one that I didn't anticipate:

I'M HUNGRY ALL THE TIME. ALL. THE. TIME. I haven't had an appetite like this in years. Figuring out what I can stuff in my face is a bit challenging at times, especially when I'm at work. I know it would help if I actually liked things like carrots and celery ... I've been eating lots of popcorn and Greek yogurt. It "helped" that I finally got my Vitacost order of several different gluten-free flours. (I went with Vitacost over Amazon because Vitacost's prices were way lower. I was surprised.) So I immediately made brownies. Tasted great, but I'm thinking that wasn't the greatest food choice! I also made gluten free pancakes, which tasted great but were way too runny. I've found a lot of good-looking recipes, so I'll keep experimenting!

Some of my gluten-free meals. Yes, that is a giant bowl of meat from Arby's :-)

As for how I'm feeling, well, it's been a mixed bag. One thing I've noticed is fatigue. I mean, I'm always tired, but twice since I've gone off gluten I've been so tired after work that I've taken a nap. I never nap. I'm sleeping between seven and eight hours a night, so I know I'm not sleep deprived. Weird. I even took a sick day last week because I was so exhausted after my shower that I had to lay down for a while. It was so strange. The next day, I felt "fine"—well, as fine as I ever feel. I was hoping (rather naively, I'm sure) that I would immediately feel a reduction in thyroid symptoms. (The fatigue could have nothing to do with this diet, but it's weird that it hit just as I made the change.)

But digestively, I've noticed a huge difference. I can't remember a time that I didn't have digestive issues—cramping, gas, constipation, diarrhea. While things aren't perfect, these are the best two weeks I've had in a very long time. Really, that alone makes this change worth it.

So I'm going to keep going. I'm still hopeful that it will help me feel "normal" again, but if it doesn't, I'll find something else to try. I'm learning a lot about Hashimoto's, I'm determined to keep fighting to feel better!

going gluten free: introduction

Today marks my fourth day of following a gluten-free diet. But don't confuse me for a bandwagon jumper. Just a few months ago, I scoffed at the idea of going gluten free and thanked the Lord that, while I may have a myriad of health issues, celiac disease isn't one of them.

Then I learned I have a thyroid condition called Hashimoto's thyroiditis, and that changed everything.

I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid) between my sophomore and junior years of college. I had some scary symptoms that made my doctor suspect diabetes, especially since my dad has Type I, but the results came back pointing to the thyroid. I was told that I would have to take an inexpensive pill every day for the rest of my life, have lab work done once or twice a year, and that would be that.

And it was...until it wasn't. In 2010, I started having some weird symptoms—tingling hands, heart palpitations, anxiety, extreme fatigue, headaches, light headedness. I wore a heart monitor and had a brain scan. Everything came back normal. My doctor was mystified. I began seeing a chiropractor, who diagnosed a neck sprain. For a few months, I saw him three times a week, and I still see him once a month. He also had me start taking an iodine supplement called Iodoral. Almost immediately, I began to feel better.

Flash forward to the fall of 2012. Following an ill-fated two weeks on birth control (prescribed because of extremely painful periods), during which time I was constantly nauseous and emotional, I began to feel "off." Besides fatigue, heartburn, and fairly frequent abdominal pain, I couldn't really pinpoint what was wrong, but I knew something was. Every once in a while, my doctor (by this time a different doctor than the one who diagnosed the hypothyroidism) would adjust my thyroid meds—sometimes up, sometimes down—and she "diagnosed" me with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) after an abdominal ultrasound didn't turn up anything alarming. She also tested my Vitamin D, which was very low. Supplements helped me feel some better, but I still knew something was wrong.

Then in October 2013, she ran a full thyroid panel and discovered my thyroid antibodies were high. She said this meant I had Hashimoto's, and we would regulate my meds by how I felt, rather than what the regular thyroid test said, for a while. She also recommended I stop taking the Iodoral. She didn't make a big deal about Hashimoto's, and I started feeling better once I stopped the Iodoral.

By April of this year, I was feeling horrible again, and I'd gained 10 pounds since October, though my eating habits and activity level remained the same (which is to say that I didn't really exercise—I wanted to, but I hadn't had the energy for it since starting to feel bad in 2012, but I didn't gain any weight until I stopped taking the Iodoral). When my blood work showed that my thyroid antibodies were still sky high (999), she referred me to an ENT. I had an ultrasound of the thyroid done, and it didn't show any suspicious nodes, which was good news. The bad news was the ENT couldn't really do anything for me, but he did take time to explain Hashimoto's. His recommendation was that I switch to name brand Synthroid (I had been taking a generic ever since my initial diagnosis), recheck my labs in three months, and then possibly see an Endocrinologist.

At this point, my frustration level was sky high. I had pinned my hopes on the ENT having answers, and when he didn't, I wasn't sure what to do. I thought about making a nuisance of myself and demanding a referral to an endo, but I'm not that girl (yet, anyway). What was I to do? I knew I didn't want to wait around anymore, but I had no idea what my next step was. Then, one night, I was on Facebook, and one of those Someecard pictures popped up in my feed. I can't remember what the photo was, but it had been shared from a page called Hypothyroid Mom. I clicked through to the page and found ... hope.

The women posting on Hypothyroid Mom are women just like me. We don't share all of the same symptoms, but someone mentioned each and every thing I deal with. It sounds crazy, but never before had I considered that there are other people who can truly understand what I'm going through—because they're going through it, too.

After finding Hypothyroid Mom (which is also a website), I started reading everything I could about Hashimoto's. There's a lot of conflicting information out there, but one thing that most people agree on is that a gluten-free diet can really help those with Hashimoto's to feel better. (I'm not talking about regular MD's here—the consensus across the board from patients and more "natural" doctors is that most doctors don't really understand Hashimoto's and treat it completely based on lab work.)

I truly believe God led me to the Hypothyroid Mom Facebook page. I had reached the end of what I knew to do, and this page has pushed me to start learning about my condition and take control of my health. I honestly don't know if going gluten free will help me, but why not give it a shot? I'm tracking my symptoms, what I eat, and how much I exercise each day. So far, I haven't really seen a difference, but it is just the fourth day. I'll post again next week about how I'm feeling and what I'm eating.

Until then, if you also struggle with thyroid issues (hypothyroidism, hyperthyroidism, Hashimoto's, or Graves'), I'd encourage you to sign up for the Thyroid Summit. It starts June 2, and it's free to watch. I'm sure I won't watch everything, but I plan to view the presentations that pertain to me.

Here's to better health and surviving Hashimoto's!

quitting aspartame

About six weeks ago, I quit aspartame. Cold turkey. I'd been hearing bad things about aspartame for a long time, and, regardless of the truth behind all the dire warnings, I knew that consuming so much aspartame couldn't be good for me.

When I was a senior in high school, I spent a month on the Atkins diet. I was miserable, and I ended up dreaming of potatoes before I decided to run far away from the diet ... but one thing from the diet that stuck was the switch I made from regular to diet pop. But where I'd been drinking maybe three or four regular sodas per week, when it came to the diet pop, it was a free for all. It wasn't unusual for me to drink two or three cans per day. In college, I had pop with every meal except breakfast. I regularly drank two cans per day at work. And any time I went out to eat, I'd have four, five, or even six glasses of pop.

I'm honestly not sure how I made the decision to quite aspartame ... I just did it. The first week was torture. I knew I'd be giving up my beloved Diet Coke, but I had no idea how prevalent aspartame is. All of my gum? Gone. My water enhancers (Mio, Crystal Light)? Gone. I spent about a week longing for what I could no longer have. Plus, there were the physical symptoms. I had some of the worst headaches I've ever had in my life during that week. And three days after I quit, I had scary physical symptoms—heart palpitations, shakiness, and extreme fatigue.

It hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows since that week, but all my withdrawal symptoms are gone, and I'm proud of myself for making this change!

It's important to note that I haven't quit all artificial sweeteners—that would be practically impossible, though I know it would be good for me—but my use of sweeteners is dramatically less. I found a gum (Dentyne Fire) that doesn't use aspartame as a sweetener. And I bought a SodaStream. It uses artificial sweeteners in most of its syrups, but no aspartame or high fructose corn syrup. My pop consumption has dropped to about 12 ounces per day—not ideal, but much better than before. I now read labels on practically all food and drink before I buy it—fortunately, everything containing aspartame must be labeled with the following warning: "Phenylketonurics: Contains Phenylalanine," which saves me from reading through insanely long ingredient lists.

This is definitely a lifestyle change for me, but it's so worth it! I feel healthier, and I've even dropped a couple pounds even though I haven't changed my exercise habits. I know I have a long way to go before I'm truly living a healthy lifestyle (and if you know how to magically make me like fruits and vegetables, please let me know!), but I'm proud of myself for taking this first step.

2010 retrospective

I realize I'm a little late on this (don't people usually do the look back at the year at the end of December?), but my two snow days are finally giving me a chance to catch up on some things!

2010: A year filled with high highs and low lows. Of my 29 years, 2010 was probably the hardest, yet I also learned so much through the challenges. Here's a look back at the events that impacted me the most throughout the year.

January: On January 1-2, I spent about 3 hours in the emergency room with abdominal pain. It definitely wasn't how I planned to begin my year, but something good came out of it. The ER doctor sent me home after ruling out appendicitis and kidney stones, but she suspected gall stones. While the ultrasound I had the next week didn't show any stones, my doctor suspected my gall bladder was "sluggish," and she suggested I drastically cut the fat in my diet. Wanting to avoid pain and more trips to the doctor, I did ... and in the process lost 25 pounds! Somewhere along the line, I picked five back up, so I'm starting 2011 twenty pounds lighter than I started 2010. I'm hoping to make it another 20 this year, but I know doing so will require a lot of discipline and hard work.


April: My friend and former roommate Melissa married Ryan, and I was honored to be one of her bridesmaids. It was a wonderful (and short) celebration, and I loved seeing my friend so happy! Also, by that point in the year, I'd lost enough weight that my dress had to be taken in :-)

Melissa and me on her wedding day.

May: I started feeling sick again. Well, I really started feeling "off" in April, but I didn't actually see a doctor until May. My strange symptoms--lightheadness, headaches, racing heartbeat, no appetite, no energy--led to some expensive tests and no real answers. Finally in June, after a brain scan that showed nothing abnormal, I decided to go to the chiropractor. After he heard my symptoms, he immediately wanted to take an x-ray of my neck. I had several vertebrae out of place. He also suspected an iodine deficiency and started me on supplements. Within two weeks of treatments, most of my symptoms were gone, and within a month, I had my energy back! I still don't know if my neck sprain is the only thing that was wrong, but I don't care ... 'cause I feel good! I'm now a firm believer in chiropractic care!

June: One of my high school acquaintances started a women's Bible study. There are five of us who normally attend, and this has been a needed addition to my life. Now I have a group of women praying for me and keeping me accountable, and I eagerly anticipate each meeting. God brought this into my life just when I needed it!

July: July is a blur--I spent much of it away from home! At the beginning of July, Blendy and I drove to Indiana for my college roommate Jen's wedding. This wedding was a total celebration, and I had a blast! We arrived a couple of days before the wedding, and it was great to hang out with Jen and (hallmate) Sarah and get to know Jen's beloved a bit, as well! Then at the end of the month, Blendy and I took off on our great road trip adventure! We started in Michigan, spent a couple days in Pennsylvania, visited my college friend Holly near Cleveland, attended college roommate Jodi's wedding, and then stayed overnight at Jen & Josh's apartment before we returned home. It was such a fun trip!

Me and Sarah a couple days before Jen's wedding

The Hrens and me.

Me and Blendy on our fabulous road trip.

Me and Jodi.

August: While we were on our roadtrip adventure, I got a call from Val's landlord. Val and her roommate decided to move to Grand Island, and Larry wanted to know if I was interested in renting the house after they moved out in August. Because the house was going on the market, they were willing to rent for next to nothing ... so I decided to take a leap and move! I'm loving living in a house instead of an apartment ... and I'm really loving the garage!

My house (obviously not in August!)

November: I accompanied nearly 50 high school students on a trip to Washington, D.C. I had a blast (though I could happily live my life without spending another night on a bus!) and intended to blog about it when I got home. That didn't happen, but at least you can see some pictures here!

December: Two things consumed my December. The first was the Singing Christmas Tree. This was my fourth year as a choir member, and I had the most fun of any year--probably because I connected with other choir members better than I had before. As an added bonus, Blendy had a solo, and I overflowed with sisterly pride each time she sang.

Blendy singing her solo. Sorry it's so blurry!

The other thing consuming December wasn't so pleasant. My grandma's health was declining rapidly, and on December 20, she died. I woke up that morning feeling an urgency to see her, so I got everything in order at work and left for Kansas. My mom was already there--she had gone down the week before--and after I arrived, we spent a while with Grandma before leaving for supper. Then we returned and spent another hour or so with her before leaving for the night. While I was there, I said everything I wanted to say to Grandma, and though she wasn't really able to communicate, I will go to my grave believing she was trying to say "I love you." When we left that night, we had no idea she was so near to death, so it was quite a shock when the nursing home called us at 11 to say she had passed away. The next week was a whirlwind of activity--my mom's brother and sister both arrived the next day, and the funeral was set for the Monday after Christmas. Prior to Grandma's death, I worried that Christmas would be depressing and sad, and we all certainly faced moments of sadness, but overall the mood was happy. Grandma had been in severe pain, and I rejoice in knowing that she will never experience pain again!

Most memorable moment of the year: I had no idea this would turn out to be my most treasured memory of 2010 when it happened, but now I'm so thankful for the day in July when Mom and I took Grandma out for her birthday. It turned out to be my last meaningful time with Grandma. She had an absolute blast--we took her to Cracker Barrel for supper, then we returned to her house for pie and presents. I will never forget how happy she was, and I will always treasure that night.  

Grandma and Mom at Cracker Barrel.

She got a free sundae because it was her birthday. Hamming for the camera was rather uncharacteristic!

My last picture with my grandma. It's one I'll treasure.